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A wrenching story of early death and a 12-year-old that loves life

 My grand daughter, Courtney, was born with a fatal illness, cystic fibrosis. She died at the age of 25, but not before she gave birth to my great grandson, Carson Thomas Lane - risking her own life to bring him into the world. This is her story. Carson turned 12 today. He told me, "I love my life"!

June 25, 2012 (Written by Courtney Lane)

What was supposed to be an amniocentesis, turned out to be the day that I was induced.

See turns out that I wasn't sporadically pissing the bed, my water had just sprung a leak and it would soon no longer be safe for Carson inside me, because there was not enough amniotic fluid. They Assembled my team of specialists to come in and speak to me about the induction process. I could tell by the looks on their faces that this was not going to be an easy conversation. But I'll be honest, it was a conversation I had already had 1000 times. The induction process was going to put a lot of strain on my body, and there was a very good possibility that I wasn't going to make it out of this. That even with pain control the force of the induced contractions would cause a very large strain on my body, and that they would do all they could.

But I had known that from the moment I found out I was pregnant with my son, they told me there was a very good chance that I would not live to raise my child if this was a path that I decided to take. The possibility of not making it through labor was very possible, and not living to see my child live past a couple years old was an even bigger possibility. But dying didn't scare me, my only worry was making sure that he made it into this world happy and healthy. I've always been ready to go, because that's just part of my life, but because of Carson I would get to leave behind the most amazing gift that I could ever give to this world, a piece of me will still be here. He was going to go on to do such great things, and here or not I was going to be incredibly proud to be his mother. Throughout my pregnancy I underwent surgery's, body modification, starvation, lots of pain, 6 months of a hospital stay and I wouldn't take it back not for one second, because he is absolutely everything.

31 hours of labor and I was finally ready to push. Carson was out within five pushes.

I open my eyes and I get to see him and he was crying and screaming and healthy. And it hit me that I had made it, I felt fine and I got to hold my child. For a second... I felt my body and my bones go cold, I couldn't stop shaking and I begged my mother to take my son. I remember not being able to breathe and I remember my vision going and straining to try to look at my child if that was the last thing I was going to see. A bunch of people ran in but I couldn't see faces and all I could hear was she's bleeding she's hemorrhaging. Then the voices started to go quiet and I realized I knew what dying felt like. But I just wanted to see my son. I don't remember anything after that. So I surmise that I probably passed out.

But what I do remember is waking up hours later and seeing Carson wrapped up next to me. And I wasn't sure it was completely real so I just sat up and looked at him. He was so quiet and so peaceful, but I still felt so drained so I was so afraid to reach out and pick him up. So I sat there and waited. And I watched you. When I finally felt comfortable enough and confident enough I picked you up and I got to genuinely hold you for the first time.

Everything that I went through in that eight months, I would do again, a thousand times. Because everyone who's lives you've touched, are better because of it.

Carson with his hero, Marcus Smart

Carson and his mom as a youngster

Author's note: A major shout-out to former-Celtic, Marcus Smart, and the untold numbers of fine individuals out there that took the time and effort to make this young gentleman feel like he was an important part of our society - following the too-early death of his mom. I will never forget you.


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